Пегий пёс, бегущий краем моря... (kspshnik) wrote,
Пегий пёс, бегущий краем моря...
kspshnik

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Test of English ;o)

If you can pronounce correctly every word in this poem, you will be speaking
English better than 90% of the native English speakers in the world. After
trying the verses, a Frenchman said he'd prefer six months of hard labour to
reading six lines aloud. Try them yourself.

(Если вы сможете правильно
произнести каждое слово в этом стихотворении, значит вы говорите по английски
лучше чем 90% тех для кого этот язык родной. Один француз, попытавшись это
прочесть, заявил что он предпочтет 6 месяцев каторги, нежели прочесть 6
строк.)




Dearest creature in creation,
Study English pronunciation.
I
will teach you in my verse
Sounds like corpse, corps, horse, and worse.
I
will keep you, Suzy, busy,
Make your head with heat grow dizzy.
Tear in
eye, your dress will tear.
So shall I! Oh hear my prayer.
Just compare
heart, beard, and heard,
Dies and diet, lord and word,
Sword and sward,
retain and Britain.
(Mind the latter, how it's written.)
Now I surely will
not plague you
With such words as plaque and ague.
But be careful how you
speak:
Say break and steak, but bleak and streak;
Cloven, oven, how and
low,
Script, receipt, show, poem, and toe.
Hear me say, devoid of
trickery,
Daughter, laughter, and Terpsichore,
Typhoid, measles, topsails,
aisles,
Exiles, similes, and reviles;
Scholar, vicar, and cigar,
Solar,
mica, war and far;
One, anemone, Balmoral,
Kitchen, lichen, laundry,
laurel;
Gertrude, German, wind and mind,
Scene, Melpomene,
mankind.
Billet does not rhyme with ballet,
Bouquet, wallet, mallet,
chalet.
Blood and flood are not like food,
Nor is mould like should and
would.
Viscous, viscount, load and broad,
Toward, to forward, to
reward.
And your pronunciation's OK
When you correctly say
croquet,
Rounded, wounded, grieve and sieve,
Friend and fiend, alive and
live.
Ivy, privy, famous; clamour
And enamour rhyme with hammer.
River,
rival, tomb, bomb, comb,
Doll and roll and some and home.
Stranger does
not rhyme with anger,
Neither does devour with clangour.
Souls but foul,
haunt but aunt,
Font, front, wont, want, grand, and grant,
Shoes, goes,
does. Now first say finger,
And then singer, ginger, linger,
Real, zeal,
mauve, gauze, gouge and gauge,
Marriage, foliage, mirage, and age.
Query
does not rhyme with very,
Nor does fury sound like bury.
Dost, lost, post
and doth, cloth, loth.
Job, nob, bosom, transom, oath.
Though the
differences seem little,
We say actual but victual.
Refer does not rhyme
with deafer.
Foeffer does, and zephyr, heifer.
Mint, pint, senate and
sedate;
Dull, bull, and George ate late.
Scenic, Arabic,
Pacific,
Science, conscience, scientific.
Liberty, library, heave and
heaven,
Rachel, ache, moustache, eleven.
We say hallowed, but
allowed,
People, leopard, towed, but vowed.
Mark the differences,
moreover,
Between mover, cover, clover;
Leeches, breeches, wise,
precise,
Chalice, but police and lice;
Camel, constable,
unstable,
Principle, disciple, label.
Petal, panel, and canal,
Wait,
surprise, plait, promise, pal.
Worm and storm, chaise, chaos,
chair,
Senator, spectator, mayor.
Tour, but our and succour, four.
Gas,
alas, and Arkansas.
Sea, idea, Korea, area,
Psalm, Maria, but
malaria.
Youth, south, southern, cleanse and clean.
Doctrine, turpentine,
marine.
Compare alien with Italian,
Dandelion and battalion.
Sally with
ally, yea, ye,
Eye, I, ay, aye, whey, and key.
Say aver, but ever,
fever,
Neither, leisure, skein, deceiver.
Heron, granary,
canary.
Crevice and device and aerie.
Face, but preface, not
efface.
Phlegm, phlegmatic, ass, glass, bass.
Large, but target, gin,
give, verging,
Ought, out, joust and scour, scourging.
Ear, but earn and
wear and tear
Do not rhyme with here but ere.
Seven is right, but so is
even,
Hyphen, roughen, nephew Stephen,
Monkey, donkey, Turk and
jerk,
Ask, grasp, wasp, and cork and work.
Pronunciation (think of
Psyche!)
Is a paling stout and spikey?
Won't it make you lose your
wits,
Writing groats and saying grits?
It's a dark abyss or
tunnel:
Strewn with stones, stowed, solace, gunwale,
Islington and Isle of
Wight,
Housewife, verdict and indict.
Finally, which rhymes with
enough,
Though, through, plough, or dough, or cough?
Hiccough has the
sound of cup.
My advice is to give up!!!



* Via tiomkin
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